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November 9th, 2009

10:50 pm - did not have a case of the mondays today. no time for that. 1. i had my peace corps interview today! you can read about at my blogspot (shortly). 2. i realized today that next week i don't have anymore volunteer work that i have to do. which means i'll have an extra 4 hours added to my days. wtf am i going to do with all that time?? possibly work out more, which has become a great stress reliever for me. 3. i have a crush, and timing is horrible. and so is location. 4. life is good right now. even with the insane amounts of stress and school-work, it's good. 5. i still think you're weak. every last one of you. 6. i've convinced my family to have thanksgiving at my apartment, so everyone is coming to me for thanksgiving! i'm really excited about that. 7. whatever i tell someone else, i have no problem telling to your face. believe it. Current Mood: drained

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October 27th, 2009

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07:05 am - almost the end of october. wow. "The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars..." -Jack Kerouac i don't know what i will be doing about my living situation next year. i'm considering paying the extra 200 a month to find a 1-bedroom apartment just so i don't have to put up with anyone's shit. and that way, i can bring my cat to school :D i could afford it, it's just a matter of finding a place that i like that isn't too expensive. i mean, i expect it to be more, just not an assload more. or i can stay at windermere, live in a 4-bedroom apartment, sign a 6 month lease, and just live with 3 random people for the semester. my roommates always seem to piss me off due to their lack of morals and ethics. classes are really hard right now. i have a couple professors that are grading me really really hard resulting in a low grade. i'm going to go and talk to them about that to see what i can do better, b/c seriously, they are grading really really hard. i feel like i try really hard at things, lately, and still seem to not succeed or get the success i was hoping for. i also woke up stressed this morning. stressed and upset? which means today is probably going to suck. but, i am going to do my best at keeping things positive. positive. positive. positive. Current Mood: stressed

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October 5th, 2009

09:39 am - peace corps app (check) finished my peace corps app last night. much more to come. i'm documenting my application process on blogspot if you're interested. peacecorpsjoey.blogspot.com Current Mood: optimistic Current Music: "Flight of the Navigator" by Set Your Goals

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October 1st, 2009

10:12 am - fuck you ball state. i'm sitting in the atrium. skipping french class just jes needed a ride to the gas station at the exit for a business meeting thing. i could've gone to french, but jes never got back to me about needing a ride back and blah blah blah. so i'm skipping french class. so i thought i would be productive during this time. i'm picking out classes for next semester. and i realize that even after the meeting with tomizawa yesterday and getting the OK for doing independent studies for two of my japanese classes, i am still NOT going to be able to major in japanese. ball state's plan to "fit more classes in for students" has backfired right in my fucking face. all of the sociology classes and all of the japanese classes now only fall on tuesdays and thursdays. that means i can have a max of 5 classes a day on tuesdays and thursdays. that means i'd have to take 3 300-400 level soc classes and 2 specific japanese classes AND a 200 level soc class all on the same day. and that won't happen. sigh. so i'm going to have to change my japanese major to a minor. unfortunately. this is very frustrating and very sad. i thought we got it all fixed and then i get a slap in the face. i really wanted that major, damn it. but i will not sacrifice my sociology major for it. Current Mood: cranky

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September 27th, 2009

11:41 pm - new week. refreshed. i'm starting my peace corps application. i hope to have it done by wednesday night (i have a meeting on wednesday with tomizawa sensei regarding course offerings, which will determine if i'm still going to be a japanese major or not. it's both exciting and disappointing). if i don't take japanese anymore, i think i'm just going to take 1 or 2 semesters of other languages. i like the idea of knowing a bit of a bunch of languages. i will never understand my roommates' obsessions with sports. specifically football and basketball. i decided this morning, while in the shower, that when i graduate and leave for the peace corps or leave for pittsburgh (whichever comes first), i will write my mother and father each a letter telling them how successful they were at parents. i guess this would be a good time to mention my plan B. my plan if i don't get accepted into the peace corps. i'm going to move out east. to pittsburgh. it has my heart. i already was job searching there (by there, i mean monster.com). i don't think i'll have a problem with finding one. however, that is only if i don't get into the peace corps. if i do get into the peace corps, plan B will immediately follow my return if: a) i do not get asked to continue my projects and stay for another tour. or b) i do not get asked to work for the corps in other countries. which is a possibility. i'll be keeping a seperate blog documenting my peace corps application process. link ytbd. Current Mood: crazy

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September 22nd, 2009

01:12 am - summary. i've been wanting to write lately. and i never really get the time to do it. and now that i'm tired and forcing myself to write, i can't. --------------------- october edit: 1. oct 15th. bane + edge the movie in indy. holler. 2. where the wild things are. oct 16th. 3. oct 23rd. alternative fall break trip. evansville. sara helsely <3 4. oct 30th. pittsburgh. halloweekend. tattoo convention. my adoptive crew. my loves. ---------------------- there are a good amount of people interested in the body mod club this year. thank god. there is hope. ---------------------- everyone here disappoints me. martin luther king jr once said "there can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love." i've just got too much love to give. ---------------------- i read this guy's blog about him getting a visectamy (spelling) at age 26. he's vegan straight edge. and as crazy has his reasoning is, it works. macxvx.blogspot.com. check it out. ---------------------- i hope to write more this weekend. Current Mood: busy.

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September 12th, 2009

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September 6th, 2009

02:53 pm - gryphon i was in lafayette yesterday to get my neck tattooed. now that i look back on it, the was exactly how it should have gone. getting your neck tattooed is a huge deal, and so was the day. when i was at work that morning, a girl on my team said she was going to get some diamond tattoos at the tattooed heart that day as well. she also said she was bringing lindsay with her. i was like "linsday who?" and she responded with "non-funds senior collector lindsay" and then i knew who it was. and since i've worked there, i thought her to be attractive. aaaand, i guess she thought the same. so later that night we all got dinner in lafayette and watched a movie when we got back. i suppose that would be important if i was super interested in dating someone, but i'm really not. but after our tattoos, we went down to mosey down main, which is where things became so weird. i saw people from my past that i probably could've done without seeing ever again. what i'm talking about is people i worked at papa johns with. and not the good ones like joel ashcraft or beau tague. but hippy rachel, and glow stick twirling joe and kara. and i saw kalysa. i hate her and the drumline for hating me for stupid reasons. i saw one of my emo cousins, joe. i saw sam lemming. ha, i saw will allison who recognized me. it was actually nice seeing him, even though we've talked a whole one time. i saw devon, too. i didn't know if it was him at first though. i texted him. and it was him. and we haven't talked in a year and i really miss that kid. i think he's the one that really got me interested in going into social work and helping teens. i'm glad we're back in touch. it's a good thing. can't stop thinking about how his life is going now. we'll see how it is soon, i suppose. my neck hurts, but my tattoo is so fucking cool. Current Mood: hungry

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September 4th, 2009

06:02 pm - Pre-weekend post. More to come. I have no problem callin people out on things. And if they have a problem with that then they can day their opinion too. But seriously? 1. Don't leave nasty ass dishes in the sink for days, then be puzzled when dishes in the dishwasher are dirty. 2. Don't keep asking for fuckin rides. You do it every god damned day. If you have a late class, then make ride arrangements first. If you're going out at night, then make sur you have a DD. If all your friends want to drink then stay at the place you are drinking at til the next morning. You want to throw it in my face that you'll just drink and drive? Fine, but I'm going to lecture you the next day. Be a fucking adult. Either walk, or realize that you don't have a ride so don't drink. If you don't want to stay at the place you are drinking because it's a stranger's house, then why are you fucking drinking there in the first place? 3. You're going to throw it in my face that I have money? Oh right. That's because I fucking grew up and got a job. I also realized that you can't just go out all the fucking time. I have expensive hobbies. I like nice things. I work har so I can play hard. 4. suck my dick and stop pouting. Current Mood: aggravated

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August 24th, 2009

07:53 am - history repeats itself. yesterday, the sunday right before classes start, i got pulled over. ironically, i got pulled over the sunday before classes started last year, as well. history repeats itself. i had a very very very almost maybe mini-romance with a girl very recently. ironically, last year i had a mini-romance with a girl last year during the same week. how did i end up both times? by myself. history repeats itself. and the inevitable first day of classes start today in only a few hours. and it happened the same way last year as well. history repeats itself. Current Mood: crushed Current Music: "Therapy" by All Time Low

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August 20th, 2009

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August 3rd, 2009

12:23 am - First weekend of august. This weekend I: -moved out of my first apartment. To sum that up, moving sucks. -drove the longest roadtrip I have ever done alone. It was to Pittsburgh. -enjoyed being around straight edge friends. Lovely lovely straight edge friends. -got my head shaved from a makeshift barber. It was fuuun. Basically, I had an awesome weeekend. Still would like some straight edge friends to live in Muncie. That would be really cool, too. Current Mood: cheerful

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July 8th, 2009

01:54 pm - review of: blind date that's right, kiddies. i went on a blind date. do people even do those things anymore? well, it happened. very odd that someone of my standing, pretty much being anti-relationships, went on a blind date. so i suppose i should start from the beginning. how did cold-hearted little joey end up on a blind date... well, monday afternoon i went out to my car. just like a normal day. ready to spend 7+ hours at work, pissing people off by trying to collect money on their debts. except this day was different. when i sat down in my car, i noticed a note under the windshield-wiper. my first response was "rachel was in muncie?" but that was merely a joke, since i know rachel is in new york, and i'm sure for whatever reason she would even be in this hellhole that she would at least knock on my door to say "hi" instead of leaving a note on my windshield. so i grab the note, unfold it, and them in slightly amazed at what the note says. had a name, stephanie, a number, and a winky face ;). basically, it came down to texting, yadda, yadda, yadda, i set up a date for steak n shake for when i got off work tuesday night. we met down in the parking lot. then went to steak n shake for two hours, talking and eating. i suppose this is the part in a blind date story when the person comments on the the other looks like..since, you know, go you into this BLIND! and luckily (luck always seems to be on my side) she was very very attractive. she was a solid 8.5 in my book. could've been a 9.....looks wise. but i've come to realize that even if you're a looker, it's guts that matter most. i would say that the only thing we have in common is the same taste in music. oh, and that we like cats. which, really, is kind of important. but other than that, i spent two hours with one of the most boring people i may have ever met. she's not very intelligent. she's not in school, which isn't that big of a deal..she said she didn't know what she wanted to do so she's just taking a break. but she doesn't really have any life goals. and i'm fucking full of life goals!! i just kind of felt like she had no direction, and really, not very much confidence either. and i guess stuff like that you can't pick up completely on a first date with a stranger. but this is only the beginning of the list of reasons not to get serious with this girl. she's a drinker. which i guess is alright for other people, but i don't want to date one. i suppose i could MAYBE tolerate that, buuut, she drinks and drives, too. i only heard one story about it, but even then, that leaves possibility for other drinking and driving experiences. she couldn't tell me anything she likes to do for fun. she just said "whatever my friends want to do." thus, it seems like she has no hobbies. and when i asked "what are some of your favroite movies" she could think of ANY. or favorite tv shows..but that was b/c she doesn't have cable. then we talked about the internet. buuut she doesn't have a computer. anyone that knows me can see why these things just are adding up to "let's date again" points. i guess it all comes down to personality. while she was friendly, i didn't feel super comfortable around her, like i could be my usual goofy self. i need someone intelligent. i need to be able to not only hold a completely serious conversation, maybe one on politics or media, but also a completely ridiculous conversation, maybe one on hatching a plan to throw waterballoons filled with urine at frat guys (yet never actually doing that). i need a girl who likes video games, movies, reality television, and if she liked comic books too, that wouldn't hurt either. i need someone with a strict moral code. i'm a hero, and i need a heroine. and until that day comes, the world is doomed. or at least my dating scene is. Current Mood: unsatisfied Current Music: "All Over You" by The Spill Canvas

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June 23rd, 2009

08:15 am - the best summers of my life. i suppose i only really thought of it cuz i had a weird dream, but the one thing i absolutely love at sallie mae, is getting borrowers on the phone that live in deltona. i love seeing their addresses and actually recognizing the street names and knowing where they are. it reminds me of what i think were some of the best summers of my life. i absolutely loved being there with my grandparents (my grandmother much more than my grandfather). i loved having the best swimming pool known to mankind, and being able to swim in it everyday. EVERYDAY! i loved how there were anoles everywhere. i remember always trying to catch them. haha. they were awesome. or how at night, giant..well, 3 inch, slugs would come out and crawl on the group and the house. or how there were frogs everywhere, too. i remember one day my grandmother and i went to my great aunt and uncle's house for some reason (they lived in the same neighborhood), and there were literally hundreds of little black/blue and black/red frogs hopping outside her doorstep. i also loved when we would drive down roads, and traffic would be backed up b/c there was a pretty good size turtle in the road..usually i would run out and move it back to the side of the road (usually the direction he or she was trying to go). ha, i remember one time my uncle and i were hanging out, and he took me up on the roof of the food lion he worked at. it was pretty sweet. and food lion remains to this day the only off-brand food item i don't mind eating. i remember how most days the ice cream man would come through the neighborhood, and i would hear him a few blocks away, and run inside to get some money for what seemed like the most delicious ice cream in the world. i love, not at the time did i though, the random 5 minute thunderstorms that would arise. always seeming to ruin my swim pool fun time..though, now i just think of them as extremely funny. i loved the nights playing pool with my uncle and his best friend out in the garage with the door open, and the alcoholic neighbors across the street would be fighting hardcore. haha. i absolutely loved the crab roasts we'd have at my great aunt's house in daytona. i loved meeting so much of my extended family. ha, and my aunt's dog, big bertha (she was a great dane). oh! and i loved playing my aunt's sega genesis. we always had nintendos growing up, but never a sega. i loved playing video games with my uncle on his playstation. i loved how when we got into daytona, you could always smell the ocean. mmm, such a great smell. i remember on the days that my grandmother would have to go in for radiation therapy, we would stay in town that evening, my grandmother going to play bingo, and my grandfather and i would go out to eat, and then go see a movie. that's the first time i saw 10 things i hate about you. ha. i remember the people at the theater put the film on upside down, so they had to restart the movie. ha, and i remember first hearing eve 6 when i was in florida. i think that might be the reason i liked that band so much. i also remember that the bassist in the band (i think that's what he played) had a bridge piercing, and that was the first time i ever saw that, and i remember thinking how weird that guy was. hahahaha. i remember florida having cartoon network long before indiana had it. best cartoons ever. haha. i remember the shuttle launches that would happen every once in a while. i remember being able to run outside and see the shuttle (the night launches were the best). the flame from it was so bright, you could see it like it was right infront of you. we probably lived a good hour or two from cape cananvril and yet we could still feel the sonic boom when i launched. that was awesome. you'd see the shuttle, and then a few seconds later...BOOM! ground shaking..loud rummbling. so epic. i think that b/c of those summers, that is why i want to live in florida when i actually step out into the real world. and while i could have a completely hyperfantasized idea of what florida is like, i still consider it a homeland. and i'm almost positive that i would not mind waking up everyday in an ocean city. ha, find the largest concentration of edge kids in florida that i can find and live there. and possibly somewhere with a good tattoo shop. Current Mood: happy Current Music: "Dear Bobby" by Yellowcard

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June 21st, 2009

05:00 pm - some junk from recently. i've found, possibly, that my job is bringing out the worst in me. well, not all the time, just when i'm at work. i find myself sitting at my desking constantly hating people that i talk to over the phone. they are liars, and schemers, and they think that just b/c it's over the phone that it gives them the authority to be complete asshats. they just make me hate the world. it's hard to get over that...until i leave work for the day. i feel like when i'm at work that i'm in conflict with myself. but then i realize that i am still doing what i want to do in the future: help people. and in some sick way, i am still helping people at work..by helping fix their debt. even if most of them are total pricks. there are some nice people occasionally, but it's like one sour apple ruins it for the bunch. but, sometimes you just have to be hard on people in order to help them. there is a television show called the cleaner (i think). this guy basically beats the shit out of people to cure them of their drug addictions. aaaand it works. i'd really like to be that guy..except at my job. i want to beat the shit out of these people and realize that i'm there to help them with their debt. or at least be able to curse at them over the phone. they would try and say it's not them or that they don't have a loan..pretty must just lie like usual, then i'd come back with "shut the fuck up i'm trying to help your lying ass!!" eh. i think it would work. tough love. take all this anger i have towards these people, and still use it to help them. haha. bastards. i'm really excited for school to start back up, and only work part time, and become less machine-like than what i am right now, b/c i don't like how it feels. i'm ready for excitement, and people around me that i actually enjoy being around. oh, and meeting new people. i love that about first semester. and once july picks up, i feel like everything will start coming together again. i'll have money, i'll have my friends. so excited. so so fucking excited. i had this sideby (trainees come out, sit next to you for a few hours, and listen in on your phone calls to learn through observation) with a kid from school. he's a senior. his name was donny. he seemed kind of shy. soooo, i got him talking. after he said he was in a frat, i read the kid like a book. which was one of the most pathetic things i've ever come across. the sad part about it all though, was that deep down, it seemed like he didn't want to be in the position that he was in. he didn't want to go to law school, he didn't want to be in that frat, he didn't want his sorority girlfriend. i'm not exactly sure what he wants in life, but i could tell all that stuff wasn't it. people need to just do what they want to do. i know that my parents wanted me to go to school, but i wanted to go, too. they didn't care what i went for, just that i went. and they are proud of me, even if they can be complete assholes sometimes. though, this is one thing i'd like to say, and that is that i am not weak. i don't need people to fall back on. i've gone through enough of that to know what i need. and it's a shame that some people are lost, or that they need crutches, or that..well, i'll just stop there. we all have to learn to survive somehow. and i know how i survive. i believe that the universe has been telling me for the past few weeks, that i actually really do wants kids. at least one. and then i'm actually really good with kids, and that they really like me, and that i really like them. and that having kids at a younger age really isn't that horrible. so now, i actually think i want kids before i'm 30. haha. craziness. maybe i have a baby-clock, too. i think that possibly i'll meet i nice woman in the peace corps. aaand then we'll start a family. ha. also, i definitely see superhero as my career somewhere down the road, too. hahahaha. aaaand, november 7th i'm totally fucking going to see dashboard confessional in louisville, kentucky with the louisville orchestra!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha. my goal of seeing dashboard confessional live this year will actually come true! hahahahaha. (yes, i've been meaning to write for awhile now. but with 11.97 hour days, when can i fit writing in?) Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: "Vindicated" by Dashboard Confessional

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June 8th, 2009

01:45 pm - idk lol wtf last weekend: lived throw a tornado. just barely. it was epic. last week: boring. work is slowly getting more difficult. 9+ hour days just suck. weekend: got my yellow fever vaccine on friday, only marking the first in a long line of immunizations to get. went to chicago on saturday. ate at a cool diner. bought a jacket at forever 21. got mistaken TWICE for an urban outfitters sale associate. had hershey's hot chocolate. saw my first rugby game and now really like the sport. went to a famous pizza place where i ran into ed paget's evil twin. found a baby bunny yesterday. i named him zeal. i'm keeping him for a few days until he is ready to go off on his own. this week: plan on making sure i am running every single day. at least once. plan on making this week a bit more enjoyable..maybe by playing some video games. try to clean bedroom this week/weekend. that is a must. that is all for now. edit: i know i've told people this, but i kind of really want to experience it..and i know i probably shouldn't say or wish or hope for things like this..but i've always wanted to be shot..and stabbed..and struck by lightning. preferably not all at the same time. and preferably not in any of my tattoos. little zeal, the rabbit i found, died today. i made him a coffin and buried him in the corner of the apartment complex. but that is part of the cycle of life. and all the time i continue to further my belief in reincarnation. so hopefully he will be reborn into something deserving. Current Mood: busy

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May 26th, 2009

03:15 am - happiness/unhappiness check. things i am currently happy about: -having a break from school. -being able to get more than 4 hours of sleep a night. -eating very healthy. -exercising daily. -the weather being warm, and having the a/c on. -colin. i'm incredibly happy to have at least one good straight-edge friend. things i am currently not happy about: -i am completely and utterly tired of people not being real. -i am sick of people who want change, yet will not do anything in-order to achieve it. -i'm not too fond of not having a lot of my friends nearby. -i hate college culture. and daily, people remind me why i hate it. -litterbugs. -my apartment. -cameron diaz: you bitch. how can you call yourself an actress. i hate that you didn't actually shave your head for your latest role. you wore a fucking bald cap. fuck you. -john gosselin: for someone that is being accused of cheating on your wife, you sure don't do a lot of denying of it. how could you do that to your wife? she's not ugly, and she's a great fucking mother. you have eight children. how could your ruin something so great? bastard. -having to spend my own money on bills, and not having my student loan money to do so. -all these damn facebook quizes that suck my time. -having to call many different doctor's offices this week to schedule immunizationzzz (zzz means lots of shots). Current Mood: tired

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May 2nd, 2009

01:32 am - currently. i think i may be incredibly unhappy with how some things are playing out currently. such as: my car school + my grades work my summer money i suppose this is just a mood i get into every semester right before and during finals. Current Mood: unhappy

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April 26th, 2009

12:51 am - muh conversation. leads nowhere. A: hey. B: hey what's up? B: most people dont randomly text at 2a.m. in the morning unless there drunk, and i know thats below u, so wats up? A: Oh I just had heard that the latest going through the grapevine s that RAKE drinks now. B: Ya thats what i herd lastnight, i thought it sounded rater hilarious and hypocrtically of them if its true, i dont know if its true but thats what i hear B:: So just because i hear a rumor and ask some people bout it, thats compels u to talk to me after 6 mnths of silence, im sure u ha herd many things bout me too and i dont feel compelled, why do you care that i know A: No. It's just that people shouldn't go around spreading inaccurate information. It's been 5 month since I was at your party. I see your pictures on facebook. I don't need to HEAR...I can clearly see how you act. B: Its not spreading im just confirming, and those people had herd similar things...and i know u joey, u prolly see pics of my all the tym and talk trash to them if it comes up, i know ur like that, and so wat if its true its nice to hear people embraceing change and expirianceing more thats what these next few years r about A: Right. B: Ya and u see thosw pics and talk trash to them bout me and say how lame i am, i know u joey ur catty like that...and so what if they did drink, i think its nice to c people embrace change and exprianceing new things, if anything i would aplaud them...i mean thats wht these next few years are about...right A: The problem is that's not true. They don't nor need your applause. And actually, to think that these next few years are about getting trashed every weekend is wrong. These times may be for experiencing new things, but to limit that to the party scene is completely naive. B: What...did i hit a nerve? A: No. I just have no patience for ignorant pricks. B: Arogance kills, And so will your shallow close minded thoughts of the people who chose to be different than you, karma has a great plot for, hope you learn something when it hits, most people do but i hav seen the alternative...have fun at the prom u socially inept asshole A: Haha. I'll have lots of fun. Thanks :) B: Haha, the sad part is u think u know me still, you think u know me from wht u see n pixels in plastic, u wouldnt know me with ur eyes closed B: Im afraid ur darling princess is lying tp you, ...u know? We always hide the truth in order to protect the ones we love from despair A: Open my eyes then. B: From expriance i know theres no words that i can say to change another person or there believing in someone, we can only change if we find the means to, in such a great time for change if we find the means to, in such a great time for change and awakening, and u being a proud individual im surprised u hav no means, i pitty, o and feel free to say to the girls wile they read this over your shoulder A: Have a dandy evening Muh B: Aw thnx bro,...Oh, and i should thakyou i always feel so much better about my self after talking to you...truly Current Mood: annoyed

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